Ellen recently wrote a nice post titled Top Ten Tips for Men Who Lead Women, and asked for volunteers to offer a complementary perspective. I hope you enjoy!
1- Stress management: We men know we are hard to lead, and that can be stressful for you and for us. You should know that stress affects short term memory, so it is important to be able to manage stress well, with meditation, breathing or other methods. Also, please remember, laughing is good for your brain.
2- Don’t overthink: Don’t think too much-we don’t. If we do, we try to find ways to self-talk us out of that uncomfortable state.
3- We like toys: Please remember our humble origins, men are just evolved apes… We are tool-using animals, which is why we like playing with all kinds of toys, from a car to that blackberry.
4- We can learn: When we are stubborn, you are entitled to remind us that even apes can learn-if you help us see the point. Show us that change is possible at any age. Believe it or not, we can listen.
5- Common ground: Especially if we can find common ground: what about chatting about sports psychology?.
6- Be nice: Please motivate us to listen and be open minded to learn with wise words. If that doesn’t work, please persevere with nice words. Please don’t ever say that we are worse than pink dolphins-if we feel attacked, we’ll just disengage. Specialist talks
7- It takes us time: Sometimes we don’t cooperate enough?. Please give us time for our brains to fully evolve, we have been trying for a while!
8- You can help us grow: For the next leadership workshop, buy us copies of the Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain book. You may think we don’t need this… but at our core we really want to get better at Gratitude and Altruism. We want to be able to play with the ultimate toy: our genes!
9- Emotions training: If that book is sold out, we could also benefit from reading Antonio Damasio’s Descartes Error and discover how emotions are important for good decision-making. Or help us improve our ability to read emotional messages with Paul Ekman’s software. As long as we believe we can somehow benefit from it, we’ll try!
10- Please be patient: If you lead someone with Bill Gates-like Frontal Lobes, congratulate him for his brain. If you don’t, encourage him to follow track. Please be patient…